The Way of the Modern Ronin, Part 7

 

Essays and Thoughts on The Dokkodo

Part Seven

Do Not Regret What Has Been Done

Woodblock print by the artist Ichiyusai Kuniyoshi of a man holding a mirror to Musashi in order to get a better look at the swordsman.  Library of Congress, Washington, D.C. (digital. id. jpd 01793)

Often, regret is nothing more than a way of "holding on," of our inability to truly let go.  In this way, you can see how this maxim relates to our previous one of being "detached from the desire" for worldly things.  Our regret, when looked at from this perspective, is something that we are actually attached to.  We don't want to let go of our past.  And so we don't!
Our regrets - as with many other things - are nothing more than our attachment to the past.  We think, we ruminate, we worry about what we might have done different.  And so we stay stuck in a past that only exists in our mind, or in our thoughts, to be a little more precise.  For we could say that our mind - whatever it may be - is something, whereas thoughts have no reality.  They are just that: thoughts.  Images that pass through our minds the way that clouds pass through the sky.  The clouds come and go - some are dark and ominous, and some are light, pillowy, beautiful even - but the sky behind the clouds remains the same.  So it is with our thoughts.  They are simply secretions that come and go, but the ever clear and pure mind is the same behind the thoughts, whether the thoughts are there or whether they are not.

This maxim applies to regrets in both your "daily life" and in the dojo.  You must stop regretting not just what you have done, but also what you haven't done.  In this way, the precept might be better read as, "Do not regret what has or hasn't been done."  If you haven't trained hard enough in recent months, do not regret it.  Simply train harder.  If you regret how you performed at a recent martial arts competition, whether you made a mistake in a form, or whether you made a mistake (or a few) in a kumite match, and your mistakes caused you to lose, do not regret what you did.  Otherwise, regrets will continue to build and build in your mind.  The fact is that you're not going to win every competition you enter, and sometimes you are even going to lose to competitors that are not as skilled as you are, but that is simply the way things are.  In other words, that's the way life is going to be whether you regret it, or whether you don't.  So don't waste your time living in thoughts of regret that have no reality other than the reality that you accord them.

You might be thinking to yourself, "Well, that's all fine and dandy in theory, but what about in actual practice?  How do I not regret the past?"  As with many things in regard to both budo and Zen, while the theory may sometimes be hard to grasp, the medicine prescribed is fairly straightforward.  If you go to a podiatrist, for instance, because you're having awful foot pain, you don't need to understand the science behind why your foot is hurting, and you don't need to be a chemist so that you can understand the chemical make-up of the medicine that your doctor prescribes you.  All you need to do is understand her instructions for healing your foot, and then you simply have to apply the instructions, along with the medicine.  If you do these things - and the prescriptions she gives you are adequate - then your foot will heal.  In the same way, you don't need to comprehend the mechanics and psychology of why you can't let go of the past, you simply have to apply the prescription.  The prescription is simple: sit in zazen daily, and have a daily martial practice.
Sitting in zazen (daily zen meditation) - or more specifically, shikantaza - and letting your thoughts come and go, not following them into some fantasy of your brain's making, but not pushing them away, either, will allow your thoughts when not on your meditation cushion to dissolve without even trying to dissolve them.  And this includes thoughts of regrets of your past.

Daily martial arts practice is the best way to get over regrets over losses or poor performances, or whatever else nags you regarding your training.  You tend to have these sort of regrets when you are not training.  But when training in the dojo, and this also goes for other forms of physical practice, such as running or lifting weights, your mind doesn't have the time to occupy itself with non-physical things (i.e. thoughts), because your mind must be aligned with your movements.

If you want to continue to improve yourself physically and spiritually, then you need to learn to let go, not just of regrets but of other thoughts.  If you're incapable of doing so, you are going to have trouble applying some of the precepts that are to follow.