The Way of the Modern Ronin, Part 9

 Essays and Thoughts on The Dokkodo

Part Nine

Never Allow Yourself to be Saddened by a Separation

16th century painting of Musashi (public domain)

Another translation that I like of this musing is David K. Groff's that reads, "On whatever the path, do not be sad about parting ways."  If you are following a "way," then you must be prepared for the fact - inevitable some might say - that you will have to separate yourself from others who are not following the same path that you are embarked upon.

When one first reads/hears a maxim such as this one or one similar, our initial reaction is to recoil from it.  We - as a human race - love our attachments!  Not only are we saddened by a separation, but we never want to be separated in the first place.  Of course it's natural for us to feel saddened upon separation, right?

We are attached to many things other than just people.  Some of these attachments are subtle and we might not even be aware of what it is we are attached to, while others will be more obvious.  It's easy for us to see - and acknowledge - we're sad when our girlfriend has to go on a business trip for the next week, or when our boyfriend has to travel overseas.

We are attached to our clothes, our house, the vehicle that we own - the list of material things, if we are truly honest with ourselves, can seem almost endless.  Personally, I'm attached to my black Labrador, Kenji, and the thought of being separated from him is, for me, deeply saddening.

For the budoka, not all separation, of course, is bad.  You will discover early on (if you have not done much physical training beforehand) that you must separate yourself from "substances" that impede your results in training.  I can remember, for instance, being in my late teens, and making a decision that I wasn't going to partake in drugs or alcohol because I knew that doing so would mean that I wouldn't make the progress I wanted in both my martial arts and in my bodybuilding/powerlifting career.  I had friends who didn't understand why I wouldn't want to go out and "party" on the weekends, or why I wouldn't go with them to the "clubs" to drink and dance.  Even if I had enjoyed these things - which I didn't anyway - I knew that successful athletes could rarely do these things and make good progress in their chosen endeavors.  I knew that there were, of course, exceptions to this rule, but they were just that: exceptions.  You may think that you are one of these exceptions.  Trust me.  You're not.  And even if, by some stroke of God-given power, you ARE one of these exceptions, just imagine the sheer amount of progress - and even greatness - that could be achieved if you did stay away from such intoxicants!

You may have to separate yourself from foods that you enjoy, too, if such foods are detrimental to your progress.  Anyone who wants to build a significant amount of muscle or strength is going to have to choose a diet to follow in order to optimize results.  That choice will mean eliminating either fat or carbohydrates from your diet.  Even if you are a "hardgainer" that can get away with eating a lot of food - or even if you need the extra calories - that other people can't eat, it still means that you will need to eliminate "junk" that doesn't aid you in your muscle-building efforts.  Foods such as candy, potato chips, sodas, and beer do nothing to help you build muscle and/or endurance.  You must learn to separate yourself from such items without any sadness involved in the separation.  If you can learn to begin to do this with these more "benign" things such as diet, then it will be even easier to separate yourself from other things that you "love" more than food.

There are times when it's only natural to feel saddened over a separation from someone that you love.  But there are also times when a person needs to be removed from your life just as quickly as certain foods.  There is no reason to feel saddened over being separated from "negative" persons in your life.  If you are going to be successful in anything, not just Budo, then you will need to surround yourself with loved ones and friends who are supportive of your goals.  Never be afraid to "cut off" those people in your life who are not completely supportive of your goals, and who will not rejoice with you in your achievements.